Ways to Waste Your Hard-Earned Dollar

I am strong believer in capitalism. I believe in the entrepreneurial spirit and a consumer's right to buy whatever they want. But come on. American's are addicted to buying things! And because of this, people are marketing all kinds of what I consider to be absolutely ridiculous products.


For one, the neckline slimmer. For argument's sake let's say that it works. It might slim the neckline, but what about the rest of you? Shouldn't we worry about that first??




The hair trimming umbrella. Are you kidding me? I cut both Jason and Jack's hair, and there is no way I'd be able to get either of them to even consider wearing this contraption! I mean honestly, look at this guy!





Ohmygosh, this one kills me. I originally saw it in the Sky Mall catalog on an airplane. A wedge pillow so you can sleep on the tray. I'd be afraid of what another passenger would do to me if I fell asleep like this.......





Inflatable neck relief. Happen to notice the name of the doctor? What's up with that....?





Mascara shield. Now I'll be the first to admit that I make a complete mess of my whole eye area while I apply my mascara. But there's no chance I'd ever waste my money on this thing. Not to mention it makes applying mascara a two-handed job, thus more complicated rather than easier. I'll stick with q-tips.




A foot cleaner/exfoliater. Seriously?




Who would ever hang their child on a bathroom stall door while they use a public restroom? When I take Jack in the bathroom I instruct him not to touch a thing. This product requires you to put half of your child's body in contact with a potentially disgustingly dirty surface. Not to mention the fact that someone can grab the straps from the outside and pull your kid over. Thus your child can be kidnapped while your pants are down. Literally.



Lazy America, here's the product for you. Don't you just hate to have to turn that pesky ice cream cone? Not any more. Let's put a motor in a plastic one. Genius.




Americans, let's multitask even more than we already do with a tray that will fit into the cup holder of your car. (As if Houston driving wasn't dangerous enough.)